


Take All The Highs (And Leave All The Lows Behind)

by Anonymously



Series: Keep It Simple - A series of Malec one-shots [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Extended Scene, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Malec, One Shot, Short scene, i always forgot how to tag these, kiss, malec kiss, s2ep12, season 2 episode 12, the malec series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 09:49:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11310867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymously/pseuds/Anonymously
Summary: Basically an extension of the malec scene at the end of 2x12 where Magnus is lost and Alec doesn't know how to make it better.





	Take All The Highs (And Leave All The Lows Behind)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!!! 
> 
> I've been so busy with exams that I didn't even think I would get this up but I only have one exam left and then I'll hopefully be posting a new oneshot every week after each new Shadowhunters episode (obviously, only if there is malec content)! The malec in 2B so far is so satisfying, I'm so glad that we're starting to see more of their relationship and it's finally coming across as more natural. I love Harry and Matt so much. 
> 
> Anyways here's the new one shot. I kind of wanted to continue this scene as where it ended just wasn't enough. I probably got way too deep with this, but it's been a while and I need to get back into my writing technique.
> 
> Enjoy x
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show or the characters. All rights go to the producers and Cassie Clare.
> 
> Tumblr: http://it-is-what-it-is-i-guess.tumblr.com  
> Malec video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XV7dUQ2JPM

The last 24 hours remain a blur but the one thing Alec is aware of, is how badly he fucked up; and not just his usual over-thinking kind of fuck up but the genuine ‘he should have known’ kind of fuck up. It’s bad and Alec has no idea how to fix it. Realising how betrayed Magnus probably felt had Alec’s heart tearing into pieces, rather like the scattered pieces of glass that he’s currently throwing into a trash can from off the floor. And just to add to it, Alec knows that he definitely fucked up when Magnus doesn't even flinch at the mess. 

Somewhere along the line, Alec should have realised that it wasn’t Valentine, but when he’s staring at the face of cold blooded murderer who seems to know intimate details that he shouldn’t, it’s rather hard to choose sides. But even that doesn't give Alec the excuse to not know. It’s Magnus - as in the Magnus that he kissed when he was supposed to marry someone else, the Magnus that told him to always follow his gut, the Magnus that he’s so desperately in love with.

As Alec continues to clear the glass off the floor, he senses movement next to him. He slowly raises his head to watch Magnus walk into the room - the warlock rubbing his forehead with his hand as though he’s in pain - and Alec swears that he feels every vein in his body ignite with want and desire, but more importantly, the need to comfort the warlock. Alec throws the remaining pieces of glass into the bin before standing as Magnus takes a seat on the sofa. The emotions are as clear as day on the warlocks face and Alec regrets ever feeling afraid of demons, because this scares him the most - seeing how vulnerable Magnus has become is heartbreaking. 

“Magnus, I’m so sorry,” Alec says as he cautiously makes his way over to the warlock. Magnus doesn't look at him and Alec feels the need to explain himself further, so he does. “For everything you had to go through.” 

The warlock continues to keep his eyes casted to the ground and the pain on his face is so evident that it only makes Alec feel worse - he really, really should have known. 

“That agony rune,” Magnus eventually says. It sounds broken and sad - all unnecessary emotions that became necessary because of Alec. It’s all his fault. 

“It made me relive memories I've spent… centuries trying to forget,” Magnus continues and Alec feels completely useless.

Alec sighs as he takes the space beside Magnus. He knows he should say something but he’s afraid that what will come out of his mouth wont be enough to heal the wounds. 

“Magnus, tell me how to fix this.” Alec’s right in saying that nothing works to heal the scars that have been reopened. Magnus is officially broken. The sassy, confident, high warlock of Brooklyn, has been replaced by someone who’s much more vulnerable, much more human, and Alec has no idea how to be the comforting one in a relationship. 

“Magnus…” Alec pleads. He goes to touch Magnus’ arm but the warlock immediately flinches away when he gets close enough. The rejection hurts but Alec knows that this isn't about him. 

“Don’t!” Magnus says. His voice is stern and Alec realises that asking for forgiveness is not going to be as easy as he thought it would be. 

“Please, just tell me how I can make things right,” Alec asks. He’s probably pushing his luck, and he should really leave Magnus alone for a while, but without even having to experience what Magnus has been through, Alec knows that it was harsh, cruel and The Clave would have done it without remorse. Alec is very much aware that nothing could help Magnus heal from this. 

There’s a moment where neither of them say anything, yet the air is filled with tension and all Alec wants to do is desperately kiss away all of the worries that the warlock is keeping locked away. Suddenly, and without answering Alec, Magnus stands from the sofa and walks over to the living room table where a fresh bottle of whiskey is waiting for him. Alec watches as the warlock pours himself a glass and then with a swish of his hand to open the doors, he walks out onto his balcony, and stays there. Alec immediately deflates. He puts his head in his hands to take a moment to breathe. 

After working up the courage, he goes to join Magnus outside, praying that the warlock will talk to him and not push him away. He’s careful to keep his distance but he’s close enough to still feel the warlocks heat radiate off his skin. 

“I know that you've faced demons, Alec, but it’s nothing in comparison to what I had to go through - growing up with demon blood being a part of me, something that I can’t just simply destroy, it changes you, in ways that you cant even begin to imagine.” Magnus’ voice is quiet, as though he’s confessing to a secret that he has kept hidden his whole life, which technically, that’s exactly what Magnus is doing. Alec doesn't say anything, he just lets the warlock talk, hoping that it will help to ease his mind. 

“I’ve done bad things in my past, many things that I’m not proud of and I've spent so long trying to hide away those memories so I don't have to wake up every day remembering what I did. The torture that they put me through unlocked the door in my head that have remained shut for centuries - even if I was trapped inside Valentine’s body, it’s not something that I can easily forgive,” Magnus says, looking out over the city of Brooklyn and Alec almost feels invisible beside the warlock. He keeps forgetting that Magnus is half demon, considering he’s rarely seen that side to him, and it hurts that Magnus feels such negativity towards himself, just because of his parentage.

“I’m sorry,” Alec whispers and it’s so quiet that he wonders if Magnus even heard him. 

It’s then that Magnus turns to look at him and Alec’s mouth opens in a small gasp when he observes how torn and tired the warlock looks. It’s painful to see. Alec is so in love with Magnus that he doesn't even know how to use his affections properly in order to comfort the older man. All he’s even capable of doing is apologising and Alec knows that it just isn't enough. 

“It’s okay, Alexander, you didn't know,” Magnus replies and Alec feels as though his heart is being stabbed with a million knives. Yes, but he _should_ have known. 

“Yeah, but it didn't give me the right to enforce torture on you - fuck, Magnus, it could have been so much worse.” Alec fists clench by his sides and he has to stop himself from pulling Magnus into his arms in hopes that he can protect the warlock from any form of danger ever again. 

“I am capable of taking care of myself,” Magnus says and Alec immediately calls it out as bullshit. Magnus may be immortal but even warlocks can be killed, considering many before him had been.

Alec deflates, “maybe, just _maybe_ , I want to take care of you for a change.” 

Magnus appears to finally let the walls around him fall as he pulls Alec towards him, wrapping his arms around the young shadowhunter’s waist. It takes Alec a moment, but then he’s hugging Magnus back with the same amount of force. He thinks that if the world was burning around them right now, nothing else would matter but Magnus, and as much as those feelings continue to scare him, he’s become better at accepting them. 

“I love you so much, Magnus,” Alec breathes against the warlocks neck, pressing a small kiss there. Magnus clutches onto his jacket whilst Alec begins to trail kisses up to his jaw, his cheek, and eventually, the corner of Magnus’ mouth. The slight press of lips against lips is a teasing touch that has the warlock whimpering as Alec pulls their bodies closer together. 

Before Alec can properly kiss his boyfriend, Magnus pulls away to study the young shadowhunter’s face. “Please, don't ever apologise for something that isn’t your fault, Alexander - I don't want to have to forgive you for the rest of our existence together, just to reassure you that you never do anything wrong.” Magnus’ voice is sincere and Alec wants so badly to agree with him, but he cant. 

“One day, I will hurt you, and it wont be intentional but it will happen, and I wont expect you to forgive me for that - I really don't want you putting me on a pedestal for always being loyal because I will eventually be required to betray you - and for my safety, but more importantly yours, I will have to do it.” Alec regrets having to say it but he’s really got no choice when Magnus is looking at him as though his whole world remaining alive, relies on him.

Magnus takes Alec’s hand gently in his own and lifts it up to place it over the warlocks heart. “As long as this heart remains beating, then I will trust everything you do is for a purpose and you would never hurt me unless you have to.”

Alec feels like crying at the faith that Magnus puts in him, and then he remembers that Magnus’ heart will always love him, for as long as infinity lasts and suddenly Alec is reminded yet again of the disadvantages of being in love with an immortal being. 

“I’m not going to last forever, Magnus, and I can’t expect you to never fall in love again.” He really wishes he doesn't have to say it, because the thought of Magnus with someone else has his heart aching with selfish need, but he knows that he has to accept the reality of his life coming to an eventual end. 

“I think that I've reached a point where even if I wanted to love someone after you, I couldn’t and I genuinely believe that you will be my last,” Magnus says and he pulls Alec back to him before pushing him against the balcony wall so that Magnus can crowd up into the shadowhunter’s space. Those words seem to break Alec’s heart even more as he never wanted to be the reason for someone being unable to love again. Yet all he wants to do is kiss the warlock into oblivion so that at some point, they _can_ remain a forever - even if Alec will eventually disappear. 

“If you ever have to face torture like that again, and it brings bad memories to the surface, please talk to me - don't push me further away just to keep me safe,” Alec whispers against Magnus’ soft hair. The Shadowhunter holds his breathe in anticipation until he feels the warlock nod his head. 

“I promise, Alexander - now can I please kiss my boyfriend because all of this _forever_ talk has made me needy,” Magnus smiles lightly against Alec’s neck and then his head is lifting so that their lips can finally meet. It’s passionate, and it will most likely result with their clothes coming off, Alec kissing every part of Magnus’ body as they both come undone from each others touch. 

Alec is content with how their conversations usually end and even if they fall deeper into something that could ruin them both, Alec holds on to it tighter than he’s ever done in his life. He thinks that he would probably give up the entire world for Magnus’ happiness and that’s something he’s never wanted to do before. Love is a strange and still very much a foreign concept to Alec but it’s something that he does not have any desire to give up. 

Maybe all of the repression and confusion was worth it, if it meant that he could fall into Magnus’ arms at the end of it, every time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully that wasn't too disappointing! Don't forget to check out my other one shots within this series from 2A - kudos and comments are very much appreciated! :) x
> 
> Tumblr: http://it-is-what-it-is-i-guess.tumblr.com  
> Malec Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XV7dUQ2JPM


End file.
